Five Ways Dipset Couldve Won Last Nights Verzuz Against The LOX

The LOX and The Diplomats are unanimously beloved. Favoring either group in last night’s Verzuz event, where the two legendary New York rap crews faced off in an actual boxing ring in Madison Square Garden (complete with an intro from Michael Buffer) should’ve been a Sophie’s Choice for rap fans. Nostalgia gave Dipset the edge for me, because my high school formative years coincided more closely with their peak (which we’ll call roughly 2002-2006) than the LOX’s (more late’90s to early aughts). OK fine: I’m a Stan. But that’s not to say there aren’t dozens of classic Jadakiss/LOX songs that stay in rotation for me to this day (and while we’re being honest, I’ll readily lap up new projects from both crews; Jim Jones’s most recent album is great, check it out).

What I expected wasn’t a lopsided defeat, but rather that Jadakiss, Styles P and Sheek Louch would come out strong but lose steam midway, while Cam, Jim and Juelz Santana would endure with the steady stream of unimpeachable hits: Diplomatic Immunity is a two-disc with next to no skips, and together the three of them have at least two solo projects that have six heavyweight contenders each.

That was stupid of me. The LOX walked into the ring first with big “champ is here” energy and they never let up. Dipset, by contrast, were discombobulated from their entrance, when Cam’ron missed the walk-out cue and staggered out casually nearly three minutes later. What followed was a bloodbath—at one point Jada joked that the match was “25-2”, and he really wasn’t being hyperbolic. It was a rough, at times terse and frustrating night for the Dips, as Styles and especially Jada smelled blood early and taunted them mercilessly while performing both hits and deep cuts with the audience live and at home eating out of the palms of their hands. (It’s all love though: the match is being spun-off into a small tour, alongside State Property.) It didn’t have to be this way though: here’s what the Diplomats could’ve done differently.

Rehearse the banter. The Diplomats are from Harlem, where flashiness, style, and an ease for wisecracking humor are DNA traits. Cam’ron is especially hilarious and gifted at orating instant-classic rants. So how in God’s name did they let Jadakiss run wild on them with ether? From quips about the score, to Max B, to asking Freekey Zekey if he had “any bars” to help his flailing team out (Zeke can always be counted on to hold Dipset down, bars have never been a part of that equation), Kiss was a human purple demon emoji, and his taunts only helped to unwind Cam and co even more. The only memorable laugh from the Dips side was Juelz remarking that the LOX were only playing their grimy, hardcore bangers because they have nothing for the ladies: “They think we performing for Attica.” The LOX responded by running through at least five of their “women-friendly” hits, including Hall of Fame remixes with Mariah Carey and Jennifer Lopez. So, that backfired.

Don’t rely on props. When Cam’ron wasted time having one of his boys set up a beach chair on stage, I expected hilarious execution reminiscent of the aforementioned time he laid waste to his enemies from the comfort of a Miami pool. Instead the chair rarely came into play, and when it was in frame, it was sloppy and uncoordinated, like most of the Dips’ set. Between that and Jim stopping the proceedings before playing his wild card, “We Fly High,” to receive a new chain he bought just for the event—not to mention Juelz slickly pulling off an outfit change—it’s clear the boys from Harlem placed too much emphasis on flossing.