Morning Report: Colby Covington calls for ‘personal rivalry’ fight with Dustin Poirier

Ah, now this feels familiar. You may or may not have noticed Monday, but my nemesis Jed Meshew is taking some well-deserved vacation time this week. That means a rotating cast of characters will be bringing you beautiful bunch your morning updates for the next few days, and y’all already know I couldn’t resist stepping back into action and making a quick stop at my old stomping grounds. (The Morning Report is the house that Al-Shatti built, after all. Go ask your folks if you new kiddies don’t know.)

For today’s lead story, we turn to the man who’s never heard of a take too hot to fire off, as the guys over at Fanatics View hit the chaos button and spoke to Colby Covington following UFC 264. Covington, the No. 2 welterweight in the MMA Fighting Global Rankings, has a bit of a sordid history with the winner of UFC 264’s main event, Dustin Poirier — and when asked about Poirier’s latest victory over Conor McGregor and how Poirier handled McGregor’s unfortunate leg injury in the aftermath of UFC 264, Covington didn’t hold back.

“I thought it showed the ‘charitable, nice guy,’ the true character of Dustin ‘The Doofus’ Soirier last night,” Covington said. “He’s out there strutting in front of Conor’s face. Obviously it was a fluke, man. Conor broke his leg. It was a fluke ending. It wasn’t a knockout, it wasn’t a clear-cut decision, it wasn’t a submission. And the guy’s out there strutting in front of the guy’s face at a downfall when that guy made his career and did everything for Dustin to give him this big fight.

“So I thought it was funny. It showed his true colors, character. He’s got his little prop, his wife Jolie out there. Obviously she’s a prop. He only uses her for a prop because he knows he’s a piece of sh*t person and he wants to act like he’s a nice guy, a family man, a father and a good husband. So I just thought it showed his true character last night. He’s a dirtbag and so is the whole camp that he resides out of.”

Covington went on to seemingly push for a fight with his former ATT teammate and dismiss the idea that he was picking on a smaller man. The one-time UFC title contender claimed that Poirier used to weigh around 190 pounds whenever the two would weigh themselves in the gym while Covington hovered around 185 pounds, and argued that a matchup between them would be a far more lucrative proposition for Poirier than a title shot against UFC lightweight champion Charles Oliveira, which is expected to be Poirier’s next move.

“It’s not my fault Dustin was saying to the media, ‘Oh, it’s on sight when I see Colby,’ but I’ve seen the guy 40 or 50 times since he said it’s on sight,” Covington said. “So who’s the man of their word, who’s not a man of their word?

“It would be a bigger money opportunity for him to [fight me] than to fight [Oliveira], because the guy he’s going to fight, he doesn’t have a draw in America, nobody really even knows who he is in Brazil. He’s just not a draw, he’s not going to sell pay-per-views. So his best money opportunity if he wants to do good business is to come up to 170 and see daddy. This is a personal rivalry. This isn’t like I’m trying to pick on someone and there’s no narrative to the fight. Man, this guy, we go back 10 years training together, and he said some things to me in the gym, I’ve said some things to him.

“There’s deep, deep, deep personal issues with this drama and this beef, and I just hope they get settled in the octagon some day.”

And with that little nugget of absurdity, go ahead and lean back in that chair of yours, my friends, pour yourself that morning cup of coffee and let’s dive into some headlines.

More ugliness. Remember when Dustin Poirier mentioned that Conor McGregor was saying some nasty ish to him post-fight that we didn’t hear? He may have been onto something.

Seven weeks. The dream fight every MMA fan is on pins and needles awaiting finally has a date and location: Aug. 19 in Cleveland, Jake Paul vs. Tyron Woodley. Yay.

The Dominator responds. Ducking Sean O’Malley? Nah son, that’s not how this whole callout business works, argues Dominick Cruz.

Double dose. With Claressa Shields’ next fight moved to the same PFL card as Kayla Harrison, four Olympic gold medals will be represented on one MMA event. That has to be some kind of record.

It’s not in the budget. Our latest episode of “It’s Never Been More Expensive To Be An MMA Fan” comes courtesy of another price hike by the mouse. I can’t lie: The brutal honesty of the “for now” aspect of this headline makes me chuckle.

Miesha Tate vs. Holly Holm is still one of the most stunning moments I’ve ever seen live. How in the hell was this fight five years ago? We’re getting too old, y’all.

Respect to Izzy for rocking the Coyotes throwback. Keith Tkachuk, Jeremy Roenick, Nikolai Khabibulin — I have so many fond memories of those old Phoenix squads.

Get to know the violence of Denise Kielholtz, the kickboxing phenom who’s going to challenge for the Bellator flyweight strap on Friday night.

Michael Bisping’s evolution into the ultra-embarrassing dad is pretty fantastic.

Khabib teaches his secret technique for how to smesh for the first time ever! Talk about an effective YouTube headline.

That “your wife is your husband” line is still really not hitting like he thinks it is.

Shoutout to Eric Nicksick’s mom indeed. What a catch.

Some new/old changes on the Diaz front.

I still maintain that Niko Price wins via Pride rules (the one true MMA scoring system).

His willingness to offer explainer threads like this is why Marc Goddard is one of my favorite officials in the game. If only more referees were game enough to explain their calls…

EYEBALL EMOJI EYEBALL EMOJI EYEBALL EMOJI.

• Mariya Agapova vs. Sabina Mazo for UFC Fight Night event on Oct. 9
• Claressa Shields vs. TBA moved to PFL event on Aug. 19
• Jake Paul vs. Tyron Woodley for Aug. 29 in Cleveland

It’s been a real treat returning to all my Morning Report faithful. Love y’all. Go out and crush it today.